


How to stay?

by KonElDanvers



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Not sure if I should continue this, Trans Character, bechloe - Freeform, kind of, you tell me - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-17 02:48:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29218245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KonElDanvers/pseuds/KonElDanvers
Summary: The story of how Beca tried to run away all her life, and how she learned to stay.
Relationships: Benji Applebaum/Emily Junk, Chloe Beale/Beca Mitchell, Chloe Beale/Chicago Walp
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	How to stay?

It would have been a lie to say that Beca was someone that was never afraid. Most people would have guessed that and in most moments, they would have been right. Because Beca Mitchel was no one to just let people into her life to disappoint her in the end.  
No, not since her dad had left her mom for the stepmonster. 

People came and went and it was better for everyone not to get involved. 

This mentality had guided her like a red string through all of her college years. Her first relationship with Jesse, who had been sweet, but who turned out to be just one of those people that leave. Through all of her friendships with the Bella`s. Because no one was allowed secrets or, may god help them, a life outside of them. 

It wasn`t a rule that was set in stone but it didn`t have to be said. 

And Beca came to resent it very soon. Had these girl never heard of the word privacy? Apparently not. But that didn`t keep her from acting on her own. Getting a job on the college campus`s radio station. The brunette would work overnight. It was a chance to breathe through the pollution of noise. 

In between dust and the music, she felt reborn. 

And then she would go home and usually Amy would be screaming on the top of her lungs as if someone would die if she didn`t have attention on her for one moment. Somehow Beca still came to love the group. In a way that they grew onto her like a fungus, but still. Life without them wasn`t something she could imagine. But as time went on, the brunette grew more tired. As if something or someone was consistently pulling on her heart. 

And she had the urge to run, to get away, to simply get away from the noise. So she went to the radio station and buried herself in guitar notes and soothing voices. Then graduation came and this life got left behind. Everyone went their separate ways. Beca promised Emily that they would talk, and the brunette had planned to keep her promise. Her Aca daughter was one of the people she wouldn`t dare to disappoint. 

No matter what anyone else said. 

Chloe had said that they would continue to be best friends. After nights spent whispering dreams into hollow darkness, with only the other one as a witness, Beca wanted to believe her. But the truth her, she wished for it to end. Chloe had met a young men. He was in the army and fighting for the country.  
Chicago, but Beca would never say that she actually remembered his name. Because that would make it real. That Chloe had found someone to be happy with, someone that wasn`t her. So after graduation Beca kept to her plan and moved to L.A. Only hearing from Emily and breaking of contact with the other Bella`s. S

he knew that she had become the person that left. That it wasn`t on the others, but it was something that she couldn`t help herself with.  
She had to leave.  
And so Beca started working for a record label, helping young musicians that tried to get a foot into the industry. 

And she enjoyed it, but it wasn`t enough. 

After living in L.A for quiete some time Beca learned to appreciate the different people that lived there. 

The very, very different people. 

She didn`t like that it was hot all year, but it was a small sacrifice. And then she grew brave and cut her hair, after a night of restless rolling around in bed. And for a while it helped the urge of running again. Of leaving. But even that did not seem to be enough. And Beca spent weeks trying to figure out what was wrong with him, or the world. What exactly didn`t fit in. 

And Beca grew even braver and came to be called Dorian. 

His friends were supportive and Emily who had flown over for a school break hugged him saying: “Proud of you, aca dad.”  
He couldn`t stop smiling that whole evening. 

The world had started to make just a little bit more sense. It was still confusing, but a little easier.  
The memories of the Bella`s didn`t take up his whole mind anymore and he didn`t feel as guilty. Starting hormones was high on his list and while still working with his label, where most people were surprisingly supportive, he started T. 

The next few months were spent waiting for something to change. And when it finally did, both he and Emily could barely contain their excitement. They facetimed every day and even on days that nothing new was to be noticed, his aca daughter would still manage to make him believe that there was. His voice grew deeper and even though the acne was bad, it was something he could live with. After eight months his pores cleared up and he could finally look into the mirror without seeing a face with a thousand red points looking back. 

When Dorian finally started growing a beard, his friends had to basically make him shave. Because apparently a beard that`s only on the chin and very patchy did not look good. But after a year, the hairs finally started to fill in and his jaw line soon was plastered by dark, thick hairs.  
His style had changed a little. He didn`t always wear baggie hoodies anymore, but instead smart suits or printed t-shirts with band logos on them. He enjoyed his new freedom and after making sure he passed without an issue, Dorian even started using eyeliner again. There was a certain confidanse that hadn`t been there before. After finally not having the feeling to run, to leave or to be left, he felt like he could commit to something. 

So Dorian applied to his music label for representation. 

Over the years the brunet had written and mixed a lot of songs and he was tired of letting those dust over in a data chip. The managers, knowing him already, were a bit skeptical, grew to love his music soon enough. And barely six months later, Dorian was opening for Taylor Swift. He was excited and in a short amount of time, fans grew to love the young man. Emily was more than excited for him and Dorian`s parents even got together to celebrate his success. 

It had been a bumpy road for his family. Dorian never being on good foot with his father and his mother having moved to Canada. But even after graduating, he disappeared completely for six months before letting them know that he was fine. Dr. Mitchel had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that his daughter wasn`t his daughter anymore and to Dorian`s surprise, it was the stepmonster that talked sense into him. 

“You want to be in his life, you have to act like you belong there! Don`t throw this away.” 

After that the brunet had actually talked to Sheila and found out that she wasn`t that horrible. In fact, they had quiet a few things in common. They both loved music and were rather sounded by that then people. They both appreciated dogs that they saw on the sidewalk (they had started to send each other photos each time they were allowed to pet a strangers dog) and they thought that Dr. Mitchel had to do better. 

Dorian`s mother wasn`t surprised. She had shrugged and said something along the lines of: “A mother knows.” and gotten on with her day. 

The best reaction must have been his grandmother. Her being eighty years old, Dorian thought that she wouldn`t be okay with it, or at least would have some trouble understanding what it meant, but instead she started smiling. “Finally. I always wanted a grandson.” Wendy had four kids and somehow all of them had managed to only have girls. So when she looked at the boy, she couldn`t help but feel happy. 

Dorian had frowned. “You have no issue with this?”, he pointed at his face where the patchy beard had taken over the once smooth skin. “No. I mean, you gotta shave that darling, you look like a homeless cowboy, but no. You are who you are and if anyone has got a problem with it they can come and talk to me.” 

He had smiled. 

“Dorian, I was young during the 70s, I met a lot of people that had different sexualities and identified with something other than their birth gender. I`m not narrow minded to believe that I know what`s going on inside your head, but I know that there`s no reason to judge anyone. Especialy if It doesn`t hurt anyone.” She smiled. “And to quote your grandfather, may he rest in piece, `I am not to judge anyone after the weed fiasco 72.” 

Life was good, even though he hadn`t seen the Bella`s since he had left for L.A and he doubted that they would even be able to recognize him.  
He had buffed up and since he had become a famous musician and a stylist had been at his side, he was too different then the person they had known him as.

Emily had pointed out to Dorian that his whole face looked different now that he smiled a lot. The fact that he was 26 and not 18 anymore, could have had something to do with it too. When Emily asked him to come to her graduation, Dorian couldn`t say no.  
She had given him a warning that firstly: the Bella´s (new and former ones) were invited, and that secondly: He had a lot of fans on campus. 

He had shrugged. “I am not missing your graduation, legacie. I had to help you study over fucking zoom, you bet your ass I get to eat pizza with your mom and exchange embaressing stories.” 

And that`s what he did. He flew back to Barden university and picked out a dark soon and tie. His beard was trimmed short and his hair died with a few blue strands. Smiling Dorian applied his eyeliner and got moving.

The halls of Barden were filled with people. Students hugging their friends and families and wearing the stupid robes. He cringed at the yellow ribbons that somehow still hadn`t been removed from the hats. He remembered almost going crazy because they were constantly tangling in front of his nose. He looked around and found a dark corner from where the focus wouldn`t be on him. 

Dorian had no intention of causing a picture riot. This was the students day and he was there for one person. In the front rows the brunet catched sight of a big group of woman.  
As always, Amy wasn`t able to keep her voice down and let everyone in a radius of three miles know that hers and Bumpers open relationship was going great.

No one had needed to know that, but it was fat Amy, so no one was surprised. Even Aubrey had found her way into the group and was silently judging the people around her. And then there was Chloe. Her red hair in a tight bun, wearing a blue dress. 

The ceremony was long and unbelieveably stretched out. But finally they got to Emily and when she walked on stage, the room grew into a round of loud applause and cheering. 

“IT´S THE ACA CHILD!”, Amy screamed and got the attention of Emily`s actual mother who was sitting behind Chloe. Crazy enough that both Chloe and the elder former Bella had yelled: “Proud of you sweety!” 

When the student got to the front to receive her degree, her gaze met Dorian`s. He grinned proudly and stuck out his thumb. The young woman smiled widely and nodded. She took the paper and went back to her seat. And Dorian wasn`t sure why it felt like he couldn`t breathe. That girl, that girl that had only been 18 when he had met her, was now a grown woman. She would find her own way and wouldn`t need him anymore. 

It was stupid. 

He was only a few years older than her, but somehow it felt like watching his child graduate. It started off as a joke with the Bella`s that he and Chloe were her parents. But as time went on, Dorian felt himself slipping into that role. He found himself worrying for the girl and looking out for her. Explaining calculus to her and getting her to talk about Benji, her boyfriend of two years. God time flew by. 

The melancholy feeling didn`t leave him, even after everyone left for outside. Even after he left Barden University behind for the last time. 

It seemed so unreal that it had been almost ten years since he had stepped into the building for the first time, unwilling to spend more than a year in classrooms. 

Almost ten years since the Bella`s had recruited him and almost ten years since he had fallen in love with Chloe. 

So much had changed. 

They all were different but he had probably changed the most. He was a musician and had made his dream come true. Everything had changed and yet, when he looked over to the Bella`s who were hugging the newly graduated Emily, he felt that maybe some things had stayed the same.  
The girls were chatting and making jokes.  
And maybe, just maybe Dorian had made a mistake by cutting them off, by running away to the other side of the country. 

The young man snapped back into reality and when he saw a blue blur running towards him.  
“Dorian.”, Emily smiled while hugging his smaller frame. “You made it.” 

He laughed. “I did promise, didn`t I?”  
“Yeah you did.” 

He stepped back. “Can you believe it? Just yesterday you were too young to even drink alcohol.”  
“Not that that ever bothered Amy or Stacie.”, Emily muttered under her breath.  
He raised his eyebrows. “Anyway, I`m proud of you legacie. You did good. Really good.” 

She hugged him again, making his feet elevate from the floor. 

“PUT ME DOWN EMILY!”, he protested. After what felt like three hours she finally did.  
Emily only gave him a cheeky grin. “I missed you, but don`t do that again!”  
“Sure dad.”

They turned around to see the Bella`s staring at them. Emily`s mother came forward. “And who are you?”  
Dorian stretched out his hand. “Dorian Mitchel. It`s an honor to meet you Ma`am.”  
She shook his hand with a strong grip. “So you`re the one that helped her pass calculus?”  
He nodded. “Yes. She learned fast though.” 

The older woman nodded and gave him a smile. 

The Bella`s stepped forward and Emily, who had noticed their questening faces on why she had just hugged a grammy winner, said: “Guys, Dorian Mitchel.”  
They were still staring at him. 

The young men sighed. “Certainly been a while since I`ve seen you all.” 

Suddenly Amy seemed to be having an epiphany. “Jo Pitches, I think that`s Beca.” 

He flinched. That name hadn`t crossed anyone`s lips for a while. 

Emily lunged her right arm above his shoulder. “It`s Dorian.” 

The singer gave her a thankful nod. “Sorry for showing up here like this. I know I haven`t been around, but I had to be at Legacies graduation.” The Bella`s looked at each other as if to see if anyone had an issue. 

Then Aubrey stepped forward. “You know Mitchel, you may have noticed that I never really liked you-“ Dorian laughed. A little? The blonde wasn`t giving herself enough credit. “-But I believe that you your reasons to manage. As silly as they maybe. So as long as you don`t do it again, we`re cool.” 

He nodded. “Not planning on doing it again.” He looked them over, taking in the way that everyone had changed.  
Those weren`t the college students he had meet all those years ago, those were woman nearing thirty. 

“I think we have time to catch up- after Legacies party.”

**Author's Note:**

> Should I continue this? I`m not sure  
> Please tell me


End file.
